I've been listening to John Bytheway lately, which not surprisingly always cheers me up. It seems as though whenever I'm having a bad day..or days and I feel low about myself and my situation that I feel impressed to listen to this talk and it always gives me a better perspective on things. So there was just a quote off of his talk, "Rough Start, Great Finish" that stuck out to me which says,
"I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But, oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me."
It's kind of confusing 'cause I really like that quote, I'm just having the hardest time understanding it. That's what's confusing. I like it.. and I sort of get it, but then I don't at the same time. Why would the person who walked a mile with Sorrow not learn anything the first time? Why is it that he only learns something when Sorrow walks with him? Anyway, your suggestions or interpretations would be appreciated and accepted. :}
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
All in all, it ended well
So, today I had a little chastisement from the Lord, which I really needed and I am so thankful that I received. For about a month now I have been putting effort into things half-heartedly instead of giving it a 100%. Part of which I blame on my job for me having to get up so early, it's easy to shirk priorities, but most of which is my fault. I would wake up late, pray in the car and some time throughout the day before going to bed read my scriptures but it was only about a chapter or two and I never really got much into it. I miss reading them in the mornings for half an hour and being able to just pour my heart out in prayer for 20 minutes or so each day, actually having an intimate conversation with Heavenly Father. I miss it dearly. So lately, things haven't been too great. And I know it. It's all my fault.
Then, there's just issues with my body. I hate it so much. It would be one thing if the pain came and went or if I went to the doctor and they were able to fix it or my "spitty up" problems, but my life is just a mystery! And it seems every time I go to the doctors they find that everything's "normal", which doesn't give me any hope and it's sad. I've been going to physical therapy now for my bum shoulder blade muscles which have made doing tasks pretty painful and debilitating. Every time I would do something it would throb. And then the pain lately has radiated up towards my neck. Luckily with deep massages my therapist has been able to ease most of the pain which is so nice. Ay yi yi, be so grateful you have a body that is in working condition!
Besides all that, recently I've had this almost bone-bruising pain in my sternum/clavical region and I don't know why. And all during volleyball I would rub it and basically doing anything would make it hurt - even laughing. Nevertheless, I was trying to be a cheerful even if I'm kind of miserable. It's just something that I do because I hate people seeing me like that.
However, sometimes there comes a point when enough is enough. I kinda just let loose in the car and was crying because I was angry and upset and down right miserable that after all this other pain, something else is added on. When I got to my driveway I decided to just sit there in my car and pour my heart out in fervent prayer. I apologized a lot for what I haven't been doing and how I need to be more humble. I've made covenants with the Lord and promises and I haven't really been keeping my part of the bargain. So I told Him I'd get my act together and then just asked if He would take away this chest pain (I like to say my heart hurts, because it's in that region). And! When I walked in to the house to my room I noticed I wasn't in pain at all! I am just sooo happy. The Lord truly does answer prayers. Anyway, that's basically all I have to say. The Lord works in mysterious ways, including making your own life a total mystery. I'm just thankful to know I have Someone so loving that will always take care of me and gives me what's best, even if it is a swift kick in the butt. I needed it.
Anna Stefan
Then, there's just issues with my body. I hate it so much. It would be one thing if the pain came and went or if I went to the doctor and they were able to fix it or my "spitty up" problems, but my life is just a mystery! And it seems every time I go to the doctors they find that everything's "normal", which doesn't give me any hope and it's sad. I've been going to physical therapy now for my bum shoulder blade muscles which have made doing tasks pretty painful and debilitating. Every time I would do something it would throb. And then the pain lately has radiated up towards my neck. Luckily with deep massages my therapist has been able to ease most of the pain which is so nice. Ay yi yi, be so grateful you have a body that is in working condition!
Besides all that, recently I've had this almost bone-bruising pain in my sternum/clavical region and I don't know why. And all during volleyball I would rub it and basically doing anything would make it hurt - even laughing. Nevertheless, I was trying to be a cheerful even if I'm kind of miserable. It's just something that I do because I hate people seeing me like that.
However, sometimes there comes a point when enough is enough. I kinda just let loose in the car and was crying because I was angry and upset and down right miserable that after all this other pain, something else is added on. When I got to my driveway I decided to just sit there in my car and pour my heart out in fervent prayer. I apologized a lot for what I haven't been doing and how I need to be more humble. I've made covenants with the Lord and promises and I haven't really been keeping my part of the bargain. So I told Him I'd get my act together and then just asked if He would take away this chest pain (I like to say my heart hurts, because it's in that region). And! When I walked in to the house to my room I noticed I wasn't in pain at all! I am just sooo happy. The Lord truly does answer prayers. Anyway, that's basically all I have to say. The Lord works in mysterious ways, including making your own life a total mystery. I'm just thankful to know I have Someone so loving that will always take care of me and gives me what's best, even if it is a swift kick in the butt. I needed it.
Anna Stefan
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